![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
alaskawilde's journalLog in Create a LiveJournal Account Learn more
| You are viewing alaskawilde's journal Log in Create a LiveJournal Account Learn more | Explore LJ: Life Entertainment Music Culture News & Politics Technology |
 | |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) I dyed my hair red. I love it. I feel like a Valentine.  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) I am an Art Machine. I create every day. Sometimes it is because I am forced to for a "grade". {I hate being forced to do art. How do you force something free?} Other times it is because I am inspired. I do not understand why I create. I just do. I must or I will die. And it is for me & you. Not for him or her. I don't care what they say. They don't understand anyways.  [ Trying to avoid doing my conceptual autobiographical drawing ] It is dark & gloomy today. Quite nice. I watched this last night. It was amazing. I have been listening to this ever since: It is a beautiful song.  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) Good morning, February. I have been busy with keeping busy. We had an ice storm. I played inside. Drawing. Knitting. Watching Bewitched on Hulu. Reading. Among other things. It has been nice.  [Holsum White is made out of 100% Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream!] [I laughed very hard when I found this; it made me miss him terribly] [Eno River Festival - July '09] "O, I have bought the mansion of a love, But not possess'd it, and, though I am sold, Not yet enjoy'd: so tedious is this day As is the night before some festival To an impatient child that hath new robes And may not wear them" -Juliet  [Calvary wires - BeLOMO Vilia 35mm Afga] I get paid today. Which is exciting. I want to buy more: rubber stamps 120mm film some jeans a new pair of shoes, preferably brown Mary Janes metallic digital photo prints among other odds and ends.  [clouds in puddles - BeLOMO Vilia 35mm Afga] (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) I have nothing to say. I've just been doing the whole school art life thing. I just have so much stuff to do.  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) They say it is a slow and painful death. They're right. But it is so worth it. And I'll scream 'til I die.  [lain] I feel like I live in the Wired now. I don't really go out anymore besides school & the few true friends I have. Long distance sucks.  [baby is like why?] I have been enjoying my time alone away from the world. I have just been doing school & trying to be creative on every level. Though sometimes when I am all alone in the house for awhile I begin to hear things and start to panic. I may have to quit my job. But, everything will be okay. I'll just find another one. I'm pretty good at that. No use crying over spilled chocolate milk. [well...just maybe]  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) "Life seems nothing more than a quick succession of busy nothings without you" - Jane Austen I have been getting up around six in the morning. I feel like the clock is a liar. I miss my lover even more than I have ever before. I pray the next seven months will go by quickly. I just can't stand to miss you. I have a colorization project for computer art & a repetition study for drawing due on the 27th; along with whatever photography will be throwing at me and an essay gets assigned next week for literature. And somehow, I am still bored. Yet, I feel swamped at the same time. Well, I am going to sleep to dream about my Romeoboy.  [curtians - 35mm black&white canon ae-1] (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 "So you're wishing that you never did All the embarrassing things you've done And you're wishing you could set it right And you're wishing you could stay the night But then I go again, wishing never solved a problem If you wanna get it big time, go ahead and get it get it big time So I think I can solve all my problems by myself Nevermind, nevermind, nevermind, nevermind And you think you can solve all your problems by yourself Nevermind, nevermind, nevermind, nevermind Oh, give it, give it, give it, give it, give it Until you just can't give no more Oh, give it, give it, give it, give it, give it Until you just can't give no more Oh, give it, give it, give it, give it, give it Until you just can't give no more Oh, give it, give it, give it, give it, give it Until you just can't give no more " -Tightrope by Yeasayer.  [35mm black&white film canon ae1 - more here] Love is a house; let's live there.  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) I freaked out last night. I had very high anxiety. Thank God, I have found love who loves me. My anxiety peeked at 7am this morning. So, I was inspired to take a few self portraits before church to show how I was feeling at the moment. Only bad thing is: I broke my tripod. Which makes me sad. These are a "Portrait of a Dying Heart".  [weak & powerless] It is actually warm here, which is weird. But nice. It is super beautiful today: big fluffy white clouds & a super bright blue sky. We have no school tomorrow, & I have a dinner party to go to at 8:30 tomorrow evening. It is a brilliant writer/girlfriend's birthday! I am off to enjoy the weather & daydream of my love & the world & all things beautiful!  [desperate & ravenous] (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) I work tonight. And I'm dreading it. I need the money, but I'm scared. I have faith it will all be okay.  I feel like a creative machine. I feel full of love. I feel full of nervous energy. I have faith it will all be okay.  [the bunny love machine] I feel so bored, yet so busy. I can't wait until school actually kicks in. I hope it won't be too hard. I have faith that I'll be okay.  [musical jacket] I love my new jacket. It reminds me of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band for some strange reason.  [my cherokee grandmother]  [old hollywood] Well, I'm off to relax and be creative-crafty before work.  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) I got up at seven this morning. I did a lot today. Spent way too much money. But I got two new coats that where I guess worth it. oh, and I got a magic genie lamp. I picked up my last 120mm roll from my Holga It was from my trip to Asheville. You can see those pictures here. If that entire roll of 120mm film didn't turn out except this picture I would be completely happy. I waited almost a week for this one picture. I knew when I took it that it would be favorite picture of my dirigible pilot.  [mein herr - Holga120N 120mm ektar film with flash] Well, besides missing mein herr, and keeping myself busy today I think I am going to make something to eat. I've been listening to this today.  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) Today was horrid. Bad things happened all at once. But in the end, I am thankful for my loved ones & those who love me. Thank you for being there for me. now I'm just worried about my dirigible pilot flying. I hate when my loved ones fly.  I feel terribly uninspired by photos lately. mostly video & zines. Oh, I finished issue 3 & 4. I have so much to do tomorrow. or do I? I have to start thinking about what I want to do in Computer Art.  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) First day of school. Excited Nervous Can't wait. (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) Waiting, waiting, waiting. Blah. All I did yesterday was read my cookbooks. All I did yesterday was clean the house. All I did today was worry. All I did today was waste my day. Certain people are really hurting and upsetting me. But I will be okay. It is THEM I am worried about. Because I love them.  [this is how I always look] I just want to dance. I just want to have a freaking ball. [found this today. it makes me miss raving.] They kind of sound like the Beastie Boys.  [lolololita]  [rabbits dream castles]  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 I am tired. Tired of waiting for you. Tired of being used. Tired of you expecting anything out of me, because I gave my all for you. Like I said, I am tired. |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) I got out of working this week. Which is awesome. Got my VA check. Went up to Raleigh and Chapel Hill. It was amazing. I have a week before school gets back in. I am very sad.  [ copyright of perception crisis photography ] On New Year's Eve I got out of working. Then preceded to the Mansion in Chapel Hill to the SteamPunk Dance Party. It was pretty much amazing. I just took the Holga 120N because I wanted to dance. And, dance I did.  [in sky - Holga 120N 120mm film] I wish I had more time to give to everyone. Then, maybe, we can all get the things we want & need done at the same time.  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) I am now about one hundred and twenty five pounds. I feel the best at this and one twenty. But sometimes I have to remember to eat. Because it starts getting hard to remember.  [my mother wants me to model : this is my victoria secret's face] I got up at eight this morning. And just stared at the ceiling. Trying to remember everything.  [it is for you] I work on New Years. Which is tomorrow. 2010. I feel like I have done everything this week. I feel like I have done nothing this week. I feel as if there is a time warp.  [I-95] The open road will be before me soon. I do not know where it leads. North or South. I wish I could do both at the same time.  (pour être continué) |
|
| |
 Drinking Japanese Plum wine. Had two glasses. Felt tipsy. I was inspired by the song I posted previously. And spit out this:  I have no idea. I feel so emo now. |
|
| |
| |
 (bonjour, mon petit bébé.) "break is so long it feels like. or maybe it is because i am waiting. -like a forever long sunset. and, waiting for what?"  [ libbylove ] Yesterday I had a blast. I ran errands with libbylove. Accomplished amazing things. Hung out with amazing old friends.  [a&m&l] I have christmas lights around my window again. And I cleaned the house today, after shopping: asian market, two bottles of wine, thai lunch, & target browsing.  [holga the camera robot] I watched this while making dinner. It was amazing. The costumes are delightful. & The story line is excellent. Sometimes I wish I was French Royalty. But then, I figure I would have had my head eventually cut off.  [seeing sunsets] I am off to eat some sour creme cake. With a glass of milk. It will be amazing. But other than that, I really have nothing to do. So I must find something to do, & I hate going out sometimes.  [on the vanity]  [on the bed] (pour être continué) |
|